proud and careless

Have you ever felt proud for something then after a little you will do something stupid?

This afternoon, I went to an interview for NIH/NIAID and Sobran. This is my third interview. Why? The first two was a success but they didn't land me a job with Sobran because they hired the internals that I was competing with. When I met up with Page, the HR manager, he told me that the HR Managers want to hire me because of my potential. He said that I can easily do the job and that I can easily move up as well. They were sorry about the first two but they are trying their best to find something for me. That is why they are keeping me in their radar. The interview was the same as the first time, though, I stuttered a little bit. I gave out pretty much short answers. Though this interview was not excellent, I hope with this third interview, I can get the job.


How did I get careless?


The moment that Eclipson came in all he saw was 'mess' around the house which most of them were mine.

1. I forgot to put back the ironing board back.
2. I wasn't able to clean up the frying pan where I cooked tocino.
3. I didn't take out a pyrex that has oil on it. That could have caused a fire.
4. I forgot to take out the bacon. The bacon got really burned. I thought that turning off the oven and letting the bacon cook will be good. I forgot that it is not a stove. There will be a lot of heat inside the oven.



I don't like being reprimanded when I made mistakes especially when they are said in a manner that makes the other person feel superior than you. I can take mistakes and learn to correct them. I just don't like when my mistakes are said to me consecutively. I don't like being welcomed and addressed with mistakes.

5. It is not really a mess but still a careless thing. I got a free toastermaster snackster from craigslist. Interestingly, the lady is a graduate of MIT and has a PhD from University of Oxford and works for NIH.

I took it home and showed the toastermaster to CJ. As I was arranging some stuff in my room while talking to my brother. I picked up the comforter on the stool. As I was pulling it, the toastermaker came with it and fell. The top part of the toastermaker got broken. I glued the broken parts. It is close to how it is when I got it. I tried the thing after I fixed it and it did warm up. I was very careless. I felt really stupid. I was thinking that I never outgrew the careless child in me. I really have the tendency to be hard on myself whenever I make a mistake. I believe this has a link to my father scolding me whenever I am careless and broke some stuff.

After I fixed the toastmaster.

The toastermaster was for CJ. He still liked it anyways and said that he would still use it. The things that just bothered me was how I could have been careless about it. I am having the what ifs. I could have prevented that from happening but I disregarded the signs.

I got the toastmaster free but still with the damaged that I gave it. I really felt bad because with me damaging it, the value diminished.


Think before you act. Always be careful. Always think of what will be an outcome when you do something. Before you put something on a high place, think if it will fall.

If I get a stable income, I will buy a new one. I will reward myself.