Monday, November 29, 2010

I want to be rich!

Tomorrow is the day that I will tell Dr. Tanveer that I am quitting on the 19th of December. I am really preparing myself. I talked to Madel about it and she said something that made sense. I should explain why I want to quit as honest as possible. Also, she added that is not the first time that I have to quit a job.

Around 8 PM, Mooj just vomited. She isn't feeling well. Is this a sign that I shouldn't quit yet? I have to pray over it. For now, I hope she gets better.

As I was watching The Buried Life, the more I want to be rich. Like what Duncan did, I want to invest in stocks. I just want to be rich. I want to have million dollars. More so, I just want to be stable. How will I do it? I am not sure. But I have to start somewhere. That somewhere starts with me moving on with this job.

Money is the root of all evil.

Not really...

To quote God in Joan of Arcadia: "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil."

I'm hungry. I want some kisses with almonds.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

joan of arcadia!

I was doing a marathon of my favorite show - Joan of Arcadia. I have watched 8 episodes straight which are 40+ minutes each. None of which has made me sleepy yet. I miss this show. Before, it was a dream of mine to buy the whole dvd set or better yet just finish watching the whole run of it. Coming to the United States put into reality watching shows that I miss in the Philippines. Coming into the United States made watch movies or series for free. Thank you to the American Public Library System for having almost everything - books, audio cds, dvds of movies, series and documentaries and using them for free. Now, I know that taxpayers money are being put into use. I don't need to buy or rent anything anymore just to watch or listen to something. One of my 'dreams' fulfilled. One material wealth or luxury accomplished.

To quote a lesson from one of the episodes (Friday Night):

Have you heard about the man, boxes and bridge riddle?

A man wants to cross a bridge. He has 3 boxes which is 50 pounds each. The bridge can only carry 200 pounds. The man weighs 190 pounds. How will he be able to cross it (once only)?

Answer: He juggles!

Explanation: The bridge is life. We carry more than what we take. So how do we deal with them? We juggle.


On another note, I applied for a taste tester for McCormick. I have to wait a few weeks if I do get qualified. If I do, I get to earn a few bucks, not bad.

I am a little stressing out on what to give the Padder family for Christmas. With a budget, I tried to source out what to buy them. I ended up with Papemelroti. I was planning on getting some wire hang with hooks. So far, the prices are good. Hopefully, the shipping wouldn't kill me with the prices and will stick with my budget.

Also, I know and have decided to quit. But this day, is trying to give me some second thoughts. Funny, when you want something to end, the time before you want to end it seems a little appreciative or nice. I had that. I had some compliments over the weekend and today especially when Dr. Tanveer blurted it out. I wasn't really that flattered. I sort of feel that he knows something about me quitting.

Dr. Gulshan also gave me a flu shot which will also combat H1N1. Finally!

I know I will quit, I will just have to figure out the best reasons....

I just don't want to seem that I don't have a sense of gratitude.

I still have less than 48 hours to inform them...

Holy Spirit... please guide me...


Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is how I envisioned Thanksgiving:

People sitting around the table. The turkey and other great food served. They start with some prayers and sharing what they are thankful for this year. Then, the eating and socialization starts.

I didn't experience that this Thanksgiving. I am at work; celebrating Thanksgiving with the person I am taking care of and her family as well. When we were complete, everyone just started eating not caring about grace or really celebrating the nature of Thanksgiving. They are Muslims and thanksgiving is one of the American holidays that they celebrate that doesn't discriminate by religion.

So what I am thankful for this year?

Dear God,

This year isn't the happiest year of my life. I lost mama this year. But doesn't mean that there are things that I am not thankful for. I know you took her for a reason and I am clinging onto that. But I do miss her.

But there are still things that I am thankful for.

Thank you for making me survive this year.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to come to America.

Thank you for giving me a job. ( Not the job that I want to brag about ). Thank you for making this job a way to save my father's life.

Thank you for being able to give the material wealth that I accumulated this week.

Thank you for making me know what family is.

Thank you for taking care of my brother and father in the Philippines

Thank you for giving me Christopher. Thank you for bringing in my life. Thank you that you gave me a man that will love and support me.

Thank you for making my article be published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone.

Thank you for making me hopeful. Thank for keeping my zest for life. Thank you for my future.

Thank you!

Please send my love to mama and lola.

To more years,



Thursday, November 25, 2010

Another holiday....

I am starting to feel the holidays. Growing up in the Philippines, I am just aware that Holidays meant Christmas season. But here in the States, Holidays is not just a season to be with family but such a shopping and gift giving craze.

Tomorrow will be Black Friday, the day people spend as much as they can mostly by credit because the prices are tremendously brought down. My brother urged me to at least check out some stuff that I can resell. I am also thinking of buying some stuff to give to my family and friends in the Philippines. I may have the money to buy some at this point I can't afford it. With my plans of quitting my job on the 19th of December, I am trying to save as much money as I can to make me survive the holidays without a possible employment.

It is thanksgiving. A day to celebrate what we are thankful for this year. So what are my plans for today? Nothing special for I am at work. For me, this day is no different like the other non-working holiday. I am always at work during holidays. My employers are taking advantage that.

There is an option for me to go LSCC (my cousin's church). But I cannot fathom to come back there. I would rather be at work and not mind having some fake socialization.

Holidays are commercialized,I thought. With all these spending.... Americans are just putting themselves more in debt. But with a little part of me being materialistic, I would have bought stuff myself if I had the money to spare.

But with all the commercialism, this holiday season also makes me a little sad because I don't have immediate family to spend it with. Yes, I have my cousins and friends to maybe spend it with. But they are people I just met here. Not really those people who knew me way back whom I can really say cheers to.

Right now, I hope I can take a nap. I am really tired.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Pilipinas kong mahal at minamahal!


Coming home

By Maria Helena S. Garcia
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 02:23:00 11/20/2010

Filed Under: mobile phones, Social networking, Education, Youth, Schools

NOWADAYS, MOST people do two things upon waking up: check their mobile phones for text messages and missed calls, and open their laptops to check their e-mail and Facebook. (I forgot, you can do Facebook on mobile phones nowadays.) I am one of those people. More than that, I sleep with my mobile phone and laptop literally beside me.

So I checked my phone; I have a cheesy message from my boyfriend. After replying, I move on to check my laptop. As I was browsing through my Facebook “newsfeeds,” a video post from a colleague caught my interest. The video was titled “Honor and Excellence (Prof. Monsod’s last lecture to her class).” I thought to myself: Is this something like Randy Pausch’s “The Last Lecture”? Is Professor Solita Monsod retiring or dying?

But reading through the caption, I felt relieved that it was just her last lecture for the semester coming to a close shortly, and it was about leadership, life, career and nationalism. Her greatest emphasis was on the University of the Philippines’ motto: Honor and Excellence. This is what every UP student should imbibe and live by beyond the university.

I remember having a conversation in high school with a suitor, 12 years my senior, about going abroad. He said everyone would seize the chance to go abroad when the opportunity presented itself. At 15 and being nationalistic, I exclaimed that I would not leave my country like what many people were doing. I would choose to stay even if such opportunity presented itself.

Until now, I fully believe that the government should applaud not those who have left but those who have chosen to stay.

Of all the things that Professor Monsod said in that lecture, what struck me most was her statement about helping the country. She said that if we are going to help the Philippines, we need to be in the Philippines. Her words connected with me in several ways. First, I was once a UP student. Second, I graduated from UP. Third, I am a leader and have served as a leader. Finally, I am abroad. In the United States, living the American Dream.

Coming to America changed all my plans in a snap. Everything seems easier to accomplish. But where I am really now in terms of my career? I am on the opposite side of my field. I graduated with a Business Economics degree but I am working as a caregiver, not really something I dreamed of, but something I had to do to survive.

The last nine months I have lived here in America have been a life of endless trials, accomplishments and learnings. My mother was recovering from an amputated toe due to diabetes when my father and I left for the United Sates. She had chosen to stay in the Philippines because my brother was “overaged” by the standards of US immigration policies. Two weeks after my father and I arrived, I started working as a caregiver. I am not ashamed of my job, but I am not so proud of it either. My being a caregiver is supposed to be temporary until I find a job that is more in line with my academic training in UP. But the job market is tight. I had a fair number of interviews for office jobs, but into none of these was I accepted.

A few months later, my father had a quintuple heart bypass surgery due to heart attack. Two months into his recovery, my mother died due to aneurysm. I flew back to the Philippines for three weeks to lay her to rest. Two months after her death, my father decided to return to the Philippines. The loneliness was just too much for him.

I became the breadwinner of the family. Being the youngest and being a woman, I had expected to be taken care of, instead I had to take responsibility for everything. I had no choice, I had to keep the family from going through more difficulties. I couldn’t quit my job with all the responsibilities suddenly in my hands. Quitting was no longer an option. I had to hold on a little longer until I shall have saved more than enough.

The United States meant having better opportunities, which also meant acquiring more wealth. America offers countless opportunities and I am taking advantage of them. America has shown me how easy it is to acquire material wealth through hard work, and by credit or cash. Two weeks into my job, I was able to buy a high-end laptop. Three months of pay checks was enough to cover all expenses entailed by my sudden flight to the Philippines. With salaries for two months, I was able to buy a used car in good condition. These are material possessions that I can’t imagine acquiring in less than a year had I stayed in the Philippines.

Still, watching Professor Monsod deliver words of wisdom in the video reminded me of my student life in UP and what it is to be a Filipino. She reminded me of my goals and unfinished responsibilities to myself, my mother, God, my alma mater and the Philippines, all of which I vow to fulfill.

So …what’s on my mind?

My beloved University of the Philippines and the Philippines as well, did I betray you by leaving and going abroad? No, I did not and I will not. I will be back! Pilipinas kong mahal at minamahal.

Maria Helena S. Garcia, 21, plans in 2011 to quit her job and get a new one and probably start graduate school. Also, she plans to start saving up to pay her “full cost” at the University of the Philippines, with interest.


As how I imagined, Ivan, my friend, is the first one to inform me if ever my article got posted. Thanks to Facebook, he was able to inform. As I knew it, I called my brother to purchase some copies.

What do I want to do before I die? I want to cross out all the stuff on my bucket list. :) One down, thanks to youngblood.... a lot more things to go... hello world! :)

Writing isn't my best skill but after my outlet of thoughts got published; I felt that I can write. Best writing is done when you write from the heart. I did and it got published.

Thank you Youngblood for making me believe more to myself.

I am really happy. This feeling of accomplishment is a refresher for me to accomplish my goals.

Few minutes ago, I got a message on Facebook from a person whom I never met. He wrote to thank me for my article because it touched him. He said that my article reflects a lot of Filipinos abroad. I never thought that I would be of such impact to a person. That feeling is priceless. Another thing crossed out of my list, make an impact to a person. As I look in his profile, he is also a Filipino abroad. I wondered how he found me...Facebook never fails to amaze me.

I hope I made the world a better place... or at least I think I am getting closer.

I love you Mama.
I miss you Kuya.
I hope you see you soon Papa.

Pilipinas.. Ako ay magbabalik! :)