almost losing you

Cj got into an accident today. He got rushed to the hospital. He is ok now. But somehow I got really worried. He was talking to me when the accident happened. If he died, I couldn't help but blame myself. Lesson: Don't talk on the phone while driving.

He is thinking about a lot of things. I wish I was there to comfort him.. but I can't. The more I feel bad that I couldn't be physically present for my boyfriend.

This thing happened for a lot of reasons. One of the reasons is I realized I love CJ more than I thought. I don't want to lose you CJ. This is the first time I realized what love really means between two people.

I hope you live longer. I am here for you. You and I. Us.

I love you Christopher James Barnak Fulkerson.

the skeletons in the closet are finally out

I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be

on the side of me

----

I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me

----

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

----

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you

*On the side of me
by Corrine May



--------------------------


You have known my worst secret yet you chose to stay. You may not be my first but you still loved me despite of that. Hopefully until the end.. you and I are still an US. Finally, I can rightfully say.. I love you.

Thank you for accepting me for who I am and not loving me any less.

finally...:)

july 23-25, 2010

Finally.. after months of waiting.. we have been together. we can finally shout to the world that yes we are a couple. Things will never be easy for us.. but we will work things out. I hope to see you soon. See you on my birthday.
I think I love you...haha.. I do love you. Thank you for a great weekend.



Memories:
-krispy kreme
-melted reese cups
-yard sale
-catholic mass
- ellicott city historical place
-washington DC
-china king
-jc penney
-ross
-pizza hut
-etc


PS We did have a great bargain for the tv and printer at the yard sale.
I miss you already.

Lesson Learned regarding the-six-flags-trip-that-I-backed-out:

- Never say a promise you can't keep.

-A promise is still a promise. Never break a promise to kids.

- Be assertive.

-Learn to say no.

-Even your family has limitations for tolerance.

-Be reliable.

-Learn to say sorry and really mean it.

-Make up for your mistakes.

-Never gossip. Be careful who you share your secrets too.


*PS I am sorry Ate Christine, Marisa, Naomi and Kuya Ben for backing out the six flags trip. I have no excuse. All of these are my fault. I should learn from this incident.

The greatest gifts of a parent to a child are: preparing the child to be able to live his/her life, and actually letting the child to live his/her life.

July 08, 2010 23:25 PM