Thursday, May 11, 2006

75 stuffs to learn...


1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.if he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationshipthat's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was nottreating you as you deserve then heck no youcan't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat afriend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship,but don't let faith make you stupid. God doesthings decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about therelationship--take that as a BIG sign that he isunstable. Do you really want to be with a man likethat?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will getbetter." You'll be mad at yourself a year later forstaying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their businessand aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by abunch of different women. He didn't marry themwhen he got them pregnant, why would he treatyou any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. Ifsomething bothers you, speak up.

23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Removeyourself from the situation to let him figure thingsout (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he willtreat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in hisfamily (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there'semotional and mental abuse. If he causes any ofthem...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him pla! ce rules on you that he is notwilling to follow himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is moreimportant than you are...even if he has moreeducation or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is aman, nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but beaware that men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is.Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look toyourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn'tmean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't meanthat you are meant to be w! ith him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number oneperson in the life of the #1person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying tomake someone unavailable-available, someoneungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a twoway street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal betweenrelationships...there is nothing cute aboutbaggage...deal with your issues before pursuing anew relationship.

52. You should never look for someone toCOMPLETE you...a relationship consists of twoWHOLE individuals...look for someonecomplementary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe theactions. Respond to the actions.

57. A ! real healthy relationship requires twopeople. One person can end it - but it takes two tomake it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...whena man loves you there is nothing in this world(within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a manalways know where you are,and you're always readily available to him hetakes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with hisboys, don't pressure him to spend time with you,You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67.! Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educationalattainment, values, beliefs, personal and careergoals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.


*** I would like to thank ate pam for this entry.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The first times in our lives should never be forgotten


1. 1st time you tried smoking: ~ none.
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had: ~ 2nd grade. At a party, where there was a punch that I did not know has gin on it.
3. 1st time you entered a bar: ~ 4th grade with my mom’s friends children.
4. 1st award you received: ~ Prep. Best in Filipino
5. 1st hero: ~ papa
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal fordisciplinary actions: ~ none as of I remember.
7. 1st goal you accomplished: ~ Being myself.
8. 1st crush: ~ Our salutatorian when I was in prep.
9. 1st person whom you gave flowers: ~ my mom.
10.1st friend: ~ Christina dy.
11. 1st record you bought: ~ Prettier than pink.
12. first musical instrument you learned to play?~ Piano.
13. 1st local concert you watched: ~ Phil.Harmonic.
14. 1st celebrity you saw in person? ~ Ryan Cayabyab
15. 1st TV show you really like? ~ 5 and up ;D
16.1st buk u bought: ~ The gift by Danielle steel
17. 1st sport you played: ~ Swimming
18. 1st sleepover: ~ Mae’s pad. 4th year highschool.
19. 1st terrible fight: ~ with kuya. He slapped my face.
20. 1st inaanak (first godchild?): ~ Wala pa. =)
21. 1st debut (filipino girly 18th bdayparty) party you attended ~ Ate Angge
22. 1st bestfriend/s: ~ Christina Dy/Katrina/angel/adrian
23. 1st wedding you attended ~ Pamangkin ni tita delia
24. 1st person who greeted you on your last bday:~ Lester
25. 1st friend in friendster: ~ Chesca
26. 1st cellphone: ~ Phillipps Savvy
27. 1st collection: ~ hello kitty
28. 1st tym u saw a ghost? ~ can’t remember
29 .first lab? ~ soon.
*** i would like to thank badit for this questionnaire that i got from friendster.
5 days delayed



Wednesday, May 10, 2006

From about 10 evening last night till 6 in the morning I was in front of the computer taking pictures of myself and editing them. As of this summer this has the latest or should I say earliest that I went to bed.


***

Kuya left for manila. I realized that I was suppose to have an interview for today in geology but I decided not to.


***

Mom woke me up at 7 am for we are going to the lumpos of tito lito. I rushed my make-up I thought my blush was too red but I still looked great. The food was great I was full. The problem was I drank coke and in result I had a very upset stomach but I had a remedy for that. What is it? Secret.hehe.

After the lumpos we went to market and bought some food. Mom bought a huge langka which I had to carry all around the market then after we communicated.


***

My lunch was sleeping until mom woke me up telling me that ivan was calling. At first, I thought she was just kidding till I got down and my phone ringing. It was ivan indeed.

I don’t know if it is fate, destiny or coincidence or maybe a miracle that made me accepted for an interview in geology. I did not want to continue geology because I thought my gwa was not good enough but it got in. They adjusted the cut-off to 2.5, that of which my gwa is about 2.4. My interview was set on Friday, may 12, 2006 1-3 pm. I can’t believe it; I was qualified and all I had to surpass is the interview and I am in. The other good news was there were 30 open slots and the applicants where now down to 41. I was the one odd out but it did not matter. I am in the waiting list because of average in my math and science courses. My average was 2.31 while the required was 2.25. I asked mom if they would allow me to do the interview. I don’t want mom to spend a big money on my interview but she said to take the chance. I love my mom, she never lets me down.

Ivan, lester and charles were really good friends. They pushed me to go to the interview and they did not stop til I said yes. Thank you guys. Hope we get in. We could do this. I salute you charles, sipag mo, saying di ka nakasingit.



Tuesday, May 9, 2006

I realized I am beautiful

If there was one work I would not want it is laundering. It is so tiring and so frustrating. Clothes can not be machined wash because the cloth tends to become thinner thus destroying the clothes. And also it machine wash lint attaches to clothes which me more irritated and makes me laundry the clothes again. Today, I laundered my tops, I did not have anymore to wear. My next laundred my pants, that I would entrust to our washing machine.

***
I have always had that insecurity of not being pretty as compared to my mom. There would be such a comparison between us but my mom always reminded me that I had a different beauty than hers that made me more beautiful than her. I thoroughly denied that, I felt unpretty most of the time – big factor was because of my flat nose- albeit I look good on pictures. I admit I am photogenic (most people say that I am) only because I know my angle. But when it comes to the real thing – the real me head to toe not the picture – I suck big time.

Two days ago, I received two comments about I being beautiful and it boosted my confidence a little. And from that day I promised that I would continue improving not just my looks but also my character.

Just few a minutes ago, I was secretly taking pictures of myself – it was a hobby I developed when I had the digital cam to myself. Then I started categorizing my pictures -to pretty, not pretty, cute, and to be edited - until I saw a picture that amazed me. A picture that really wowed myself and made me say – I am indeed beautiful.


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I don’t know why I had the sudden rant of how beautiful I am. The reason was I saw a different me in that picture; the person that most people do not see. “I am not a standard of beauty of the society but I do have something beautiful in me – my attitude. I am beautiful in the inside and the beauty on my outside is just an additional factor “– that is something mom always reminds me which differentiates my beauty from her. And now, I realized Mom was right. My outside beauty is just a cover to the wonderful gift I have; a gift that not all could see. A beautiful person knows how to see a real beauty in other people. We must not judge not just by what we see, but let us look through what a person can offer. Beauty fades you know.

I may not be beautiful at all my pictures but that picture is a proof that I am. It only took me a few clicks of the camera for me to see the beauty behind my self.



Monday, May 8, 2006.

Bestfriends?

Normal day. Tina called up about our so-called-lakad to fix our friendship problem which did not occur. I waited her call last Saturday but she did not call. And I thought she did not remember. She asked me to go out tomorrow but I told her I am a little lazy to go out so if she’d like I would appreciate it if she could reschedule it for the weekend.

***
I was a little pissed off with dad about his letters. He was reminding of his letters and I told him that I could not do it for now because kuya is so busy with his work but I assured him that he should not worry because it would just be easy . Then he answered me with “ Sandali ka ng sandali lang eh di mo pa nagagawa”. It suddenly pissed me off. If he does not wait they nothing would happen. If he liked he could it which I think he cannot because he is sick. I love my dad and I willing to do whatever I can to help him - which I have always did since I was kid but I just don’t like it when he has his mood swings and he starts to get a little annoying.

Sunday, May 7, 2006


2 coincidences and 2 compliments

Early that day, as in early, at about pass midnight, about 1 to 2 am – mom and I had a heated argument about life. We talked about the death of tito lito – whom would be buried in a few hours. I told mom that if financial issue was not an issue, maybe they could have gave life a second chance.

***

We arrived on the church right on time. It proceeded like any normal mass just more special because it was dedicated to a dead person. After the mass, there were picture-takings as usual. And mom introduced me again to mrs. Dion. Here’s a little conversation we had that made me smile.

Me: Mano po.
Mrs. Dion: Uy..Mas lalo kang gumanda ah kumpara nung huli kitang nakita
Me: *smile*
Mrs. Dion: iba talaga pag college na..maraming nagbabago
Me: *smile*

I don’t know why I did not utter any words as a simple appreciation to her compliment. I guess it is because I was shocked and I did not know what right words to tell. It has been a while since I heard that compliment – aside from what mae said during the bangus fest. But I am indeed thankful, I even thought it may have been because I had put on a little powder, little blush on, and a little lip gloss. Or maybe just because I was really beautiful as what my mom always remind me about.

During the ceremony of the burial of tito lito, I noticed a little message on his coffin. Aside from the message of his loved ones missing him, a line hit me in question. “ he is not dead…he had just gone ahead.”. He is not dead? Are they in denial? Sorry for my comment by I guess they had a problem chosing the right words.

Also, while the family of tito lito were crying, people were loudly talking about the merienda that the family offered. A loud comment was “Asan na yung straw?” competing with the cries of the family. What a burial?

Before we left the burial, mom vastly introduced me to old relative of us. I readily said “mano po” to her. And she told me that I was a beautiful girl. A second compliment, that I never expected. I hope she did not mislooked me. That second compliment made me feel better about myself and realized that as possible as I can to put some blush and gloss on my face when I go out. I little color on my face won’t hurt that much right.?
A question lingers on my mind, why didn’t I cry? I once heard God talking to Joan of Joan of Arcadia about their episode about death ‘that people tend to be hurt when someone dies because they get attached.” I definitely agreed with that, we built connections with different people, that we get tend to get used to. And if that person leaves or dies, we start to long for that connection that we know is lost forever. So why didn’t I cry during the burial? My reason was I was in complete control of my emotions not to let sadness rule over me. I do miss tito lito and I did had regrets for not being able to see him before his death but I cut off the link between just so I would not feel the pain of loss. Hard to believe but true – it was the only way I would not get hurt but I did not.


***

Love quotes filled my cellphone the whole afternoon. I never really expected quotes to come in my cp because it has been a while since I received some. Is this a sign? I thought; then it hit me I thought of what Richard said about my mr. right will come soon in my life. All I could say about mr right., if he comes, he comes. And if he does, I’d be glad.

***

I had a tv marathon during the afternoon. And I was able to watch the incredibles (it was good). And Oh yeah, the scrubs episode was about death. Coincidence? Possible. It talked about accepting death. The episode could be summarized in this saying: ( 2nd line to be exact)

If someone laughs, someone cries;
If someone is born, someone dies;
If you love someone, let them know for they may leave tomorrow.


***

When I started to think about Kat B. not calling, then suddenly she called. Right then and there on her first words I felt that something was bothering her. And I am damn right. We had a little comedy before she told me the two things that bothered her. First, was regarding me. She was having problems with my story telling. I always had that blah..blah..blah statement. I was saying that blah..blah..blah..statement as if the person I am talking to already knows what I am to but she is not that’s why she is having problems understanding my stories.


Saturday, May 6, 2006

HaPPy birthday to aunti conching and Jr.


61 going on 16.



Family is always associated with support system that leads to unity ; Where can you expect unity than in family occasions. A perfect example of such occasion – birthday. Auntie conching turned 61 this day and decided to have a party in jollibee. Being 61 and feeling like a kid was not bad after all. Tita conching’s expenses was sponsored by kuya Jeffrey – what a family tradition of helping out family members huh. During the party it was realized that it was also jr.s birthday; the funny thing was he was turning 16. coincidence? Possible. Also as a special treatment to him, he had his birthday song and the number 61 in the cake rearranged to be 16 – resourceful indeed.

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***


It was the last day of tito lito’s wake and I needed to come. Mom said if we can’t come to the funeral at least we made it in the last day. Mom was worried we may not be able to come to the funeral because it was so early. We are late sleepers and with late sleepers comes late wakers.*laugh*

Mom wanted me to talk to jonathan (tito lito’s son). Jonathan was the guy who was so into cars to the point that he could have married his car. Also, he was the one who requested me to make a friendster testimonial for him and rejected it due to his reason that it was too negative and that it might destroy his “social status”. What a guy would do that huh? Lame and illogical.

Well, fate maybe wanted us to talk or maybe so jong would not turn crazy because he doesn’t have anyone to talk to.haha. When mom left for the bathroom, he readily sat beside me and talked to me about his former gf who happens to be the sister of my friend myleen. What a jerk? All the time all he was saying was marife this and marife that. How was myleen..and blah blah blah. We did talk about some other stuff aside from the light in the sky or the man that passed by us that seemed like as a ghost. Here is something that he said that made me feel sorry for him.

Me: Are you an interner savvy?
Jong: Hindi eh.
Me: Blog? Friendster?
Jong: Panayang lang sa oras yan.

I did not really feel sorry for him, I just disagree with him. OK, whatever his reason was I don’t mind. Personally, I don’t find the internet boring and a waste of time. Internet may have some disadvantages but I would say that it had become a great help to society. Without it, we may not plagiarize papers, have many research materials for our reports, and communicate with our relatives – which I am sure that he had done.

All through out the time that he was beside me, Ivan and I were texting. And I guess he was a little out of place because he doesn’t know what mom and I were talking about. Out of desperation, he asked my number just for the sake so he could add another number of a girl in his phone. Anyway, I think I am too rude to him. Am I? Not really I am just telling my stark observation. No biases. No lies. Just pure truth.

I received a text from ivan, he wanted me to call him. Sadly I was in jollibee. I thought of using my free 5 minute call to call him but why do I need to if I have a landline to call unlimited. So I decided to call angel, darn I miss my friends. I called him but he was eating dinner so I told him I’d call him again. Rather we just texted all through out the night till my unlimited went off. He just said goodnight and there wasn’t another call.

I realized that Ivan only calls for two reasons: if he is very happy or if he has a disturbing problem. Not that I don’t like why he wanted me to call for two reasons but I had just realized why. What’s my basis you say if he is happy? There were many times that he wanted me to call because he had a great day either he is with his family, friends, gf or provinve or he had experience something wonderful. An example was this day – he wanted me to call because he wanted me to know his experience in their mountain; how they harvested coconuts and experience nature. How can I say that he was too happy? It is because he wanted me to call even before he set foot in their house and even before he had his first meal of the day. What is my basis if he has a disturbing problem? He would text me differently telling me to call. His text would not have that happy aura but rather it turns to be a big favor. One time, he wanted me to call and I already felt the sadness in his text. Then I heard his voice, there were no trace of happiness. Another sign, he wanted me to tell a story rather than asking me how I am. Then, he would not want to talk about dramatic stuff. Afterwards we hung up the phone, he would text me telling me about what is bothering him and telling me that he is sorry because he was not able to tell it during the conversation because he is not ready. See? I have my reasons.



Two birthdays and a funeral



Friday, May 5, 2006


Happy Birthday JIGS!!!!


After receiving the call yesterday from jigs asking me to come in his birthday, I’ve felt a little something undefined. A feeling I guess I could call acceptance. Jigs had a party last year which I was not able to attend because I was in manila. I guess I felt that acceptance because I am not always invited in parties in our batch thoroughly out of my so-called-barkada. But I did, jigs was a nice person inside and out; what you see is what you get with him.

I slept at about 4 or 5 am in the morning fixing my blog and blog hopping. I got glued to Paula peralejo’s blog. I never thought that she studied/ still studying in UP Diliman. I was wowed to her very intelligent blog. She talks about current issues and has a say to everything about everything that matters.

All of us are suppose to meet in MG at 11 am and are all together will leave for San Fabian. But as my loving bestfriend Kat as being a pasaway, she wanted me to go her place for us to be specially picked up by jigs.

Kat was having second thoughts of the party because my-my has a possibility of not coming because my-my had a petty quarrel with her sister and also kat’s uncle came and asked them to go out. I arrived when her family is chit-chatting. I thought I came at a wrong time but her family never made me feel unaccepted. It was already lunch and they asked me to join them and then we ate at Matutina’s.

My-my and Kat E. arrived in kat’s place while we were in Matutina’s. Kat decided for them to go to jigs party and we would just go after. But when we came back they waited for us so we can leave together – what sweet friends.

Kat’s bro gave us a ride and left us in a gas station where kat b. attracted a number of tricycle drivers with her vibrant legs..hehe. We waited for an hour until jigs arrived to pick us up and deliver us in their resort. Kat B was in heat because jigs was late – the reason jigs was late? He had to fix the car – that’s why he had those dirty hands.

In the car, jigs introduced us to Aibe (a special girl in his life). Aibe seems a little selosa (with her mystified looks) at first but is not really. In the party, there are angela, arman, pepz, Irvin, aaron, jiro, joseph and add the four of us girls. The party was nice. We were chit-chatting and eating at the same time. Some of the guys were swimming while us girls just watched – pretty much we don’t want to get wet..why?..most of us got that day of the month..hehe.. But as guys my-my , kat e. and I were threatened to be thrown to be pool but gladly was not done.

During the whole party I had a chance to chat with Aibe, I never thought she would be that friendly and sweet. Thinking that she did not belong to the group because she came from a different school she knew how to mingle with the people. She knew how to laugh at the right jokes and comment. What a babe?!

After that we went to the beach, jigs jetskied. There was this small conversation about aibe and jigs being a couple. How could two people love when the whole is against them? We’ll see if they can prove the world wrong for judging them.

I thought there would be a beer session – too bad there wasn’t. After the party Arman and I went to kAt b.’s place to hang-out. We ate dinner and had some conversations.

It was the first time I had a real conversation with arman. He was a typical guy with typical attitudes. Yes, he does brags about himself and his former break-up with my friend angela. But what more could I do? I just listened all through out. As what ivan says – ako ay isang dakilang tagapakinig.

***
Pass midnight at about 1 am, Richard and I were still texting. I was unlimited that night so I seized every moment of it. We talked about his life and how he is doing. I was shocked when he started asking question about life – what makes a man? How could tell a loved one about her being an inspiration to me?. I was shocked that he was open to these things. His texts seem to be different – more intelligent to be exact. Try to read his text below – prototype, what a word.hehe. He told me about his problems and the things that were bothering him and I gave him a little counseling.

Richard has a few close friends as what he tells me. He chooses people to whom he would confide and his sweet text would tell how few we are in his life.

u know wat
someday inda
future, I want 2 be
an ivan prototype
hehe, ung tipo ni
ivan cguro ung
masarap
kaibiganin, 7 tau
pla sa mundo ang
klala kng age na
close k.

At the end of our texting at about 2 am he texted me a mind bugging statement.

Gud nyt din
salamat s lahat ng
advice m, malapit n
yata c mr. right
sau hehe. gud day.

My reply about mr. right soon coming to my life… “SANA”..hehe..
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sino kaya si mr. right?!


Thursday, May 4, 2006

intertwined by dreams and realities

May 2, 2006


I woke up with a call by mom telling that Tito lito just died. Tito lito was a great man towards me. It has been a year since I last saw him; and it is sad that it now that he is shall I see him again. He was a second father to me. He was the one who prayed for me to pass UPCAT. He was the one who tells me stories about life. He was the one who prays for me every time I in need. I never imagined him being gone too soon.

The whole week before this day, I had dreams regarding someone’s death. I had experiencedall the of superstitions in my dreams regarding death – losing a tooth and the like. I had already a feeling that tito lito was going to die. Before this day, mom and I even had a argument regarding tito lito’s case. And this day, I had the final dream about death which coincidentally is the day that tito lito died.

***

Today is our fiesta. We had a little gathering in malaking bahay. Sadly, we are just few – the family is just complete. Vinizza, kuya Micheal and I bonded. We talked about the things we missed about our lives. Kuya Micheal told me about a certain fight in quarto grill that hurt some people.

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May 3, 2006

Mom and I went to the market and bought some food for dinner. And mom thought tilapia would be a good dinner. And we brought from this guy – who is cute in fairness. He sells fresh fish – so fresh that it was even jumping. I even tried running after the 2 jumping tilapias. It was indeed fun and funny. Mom even interviewed the guy – he was married and has two kids. Si mama talaga - people person.
***

I talked to jasper. I told him about the incident in quarto grill and he told me that he together with his friends were the one involved in the fight. Also, he was asking me out. But all through out the conversation I realized that he was a player and not worth talking to so I realized to get rid of him in my life. Rude in a way but I don’t want to be involved to him anymore.

***

I text ivan telling him I miss him.

Me: uy, mr. g. miss na kita..hehe
Ivan: wahehehe..thx..same here..hehe
Me: kamusta ka naman?..musta bicoL?
Ivan: ok naman.kaw?.

Then..he called me. It lasted five minutes but it was worth it. We had a fast talk.hehe. He told me he did not want to text anymore so he called me. We texted until I got no more load. By the way, I did not really have load I secretly pasaload from kuya’s cp. – how nice of me. haha. Afterwards, we texted again til he said goodnight. Ivan is sweet in his own ways – sending his regards to my family.

***

I talked to kat b. and he told me to ignore jasper anymore. If I did not want hi then I should avoid him. I should not waste time befriending him.

***
Bezzy dian texted me telling me she has a problem. I tried calling but she didn’t answer. She said she is not in the mood to talk and I respected her. She is having problems with her so-called-friends in her current school.

***

Mom and I had some bonding moments that lasted til 3:30 in the morning. Mom shared her memories in her teenage years – love, silliness, kalokohans. We had a great time – laughing and getting kilig. I love you mama.


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May 4, 2006

Mom and I suppose to go to the market but I woke up late. So we just bought some cooked food.

***
I’m currently reading da vinci code and I made it a goal to finish it before the movie will be shown.
***

Jigs called at home asking me to go to his birthday tomorrow in San Fabian. I’m not sure if it’s a swimming party?.. I still don’t have a gift for him.

***

I laundried the clothes I could possibly need for jigs party, hope it dries in time for the party.

***

I talked to MG Kuya lester just asking how he is. Well, he was hot headed at the moment and I started to joke. He became calm but still I could sense he wasn’t fine. He started flirting with me but I changed the topic again with a joke. I just want him as a friend and nothing more.

***
Currently, while I am writing this I am talking to my bezzy dian. Making up for the times we missed in each others lives.
and i'm eating pancakes..cheap pancakes..yummy..such cheap thrills..
... currently listening to : Telepono by Sugarfree
...currently reading: da vinci code by dan brown

Monday, May 1, 2006

What a reunion?!



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Still I wasn’t able to finish my laundry. I had made it a goal that I wouldn’t move to a next goal without achieving the current one. I cannot go out to party if I wouldn’t be able to finish my laundry. Because of that single chore everything became a delay; but I did finish my laundry.hehe

The itinerary of the whole day was to watch a movie, go to the Bangus festival and have sleep over in myleen’s place. I picked up B. in their house and met up with kat e. and her beau, les, and myleen. They decided to watch “Pamahiin” – I cannot complain, with a 3 to 1 ratio I just settled with the movie; which during the whole time kat. e. and her beau are isolated.

“Pamahiin” is failure. Everything is bore. The movie was a total comedy not as suppose to be its function to scare the hell out of me. The crowd I’m with is such I cannot relate to. After the comedic nonsense / suppose to be suspense film, we ate at Mcdo with P50 cornered money from pao – whom we saw in City mall. By the way, Irvin was working in Mcdo – whom later joined us after his shift. While eating, our batch mates saw us – krizia, jie, cat lou, jhen m., maricris, and angel. We made a commotion – we hugged and had our kamustahans as if we hadn’t seen each other for an eternity.

Like as ever, angel came back and stayed with us. She has always been an angel and best friend I have called as my own. I started to have fun. Afterwards, we went to the bangus fest. The whole downtown was filled with smoke, long line of grilled bangus, and a crowd of people brushing themselves with other people perspiring because of the heat . We saw kiko which later joined and he hanged out with us. Finally, aside from angel, I had someone to converse with. Oh yeah, we also saw other batch mates /school mates of us namely – er co, charles floro and etc. antics

We walked along the crowd of sweaty stinkin’ people. Angel and I got separated from the group because we couldn’t get in through the crowd so we decided to take another route. Sadly, we weren’t able to meet our acquaintances. But gladly, we saw mae and bryan k. Bk chatted with us for a while and left; while mae stayed with us and bonded with us. We walked talking reminiscing high school. We decided to go to cat lou’s pad to find her but instead; we just dropped by to have some water. Then we decided to meet up with lou in chowking. Sadly, she wasn’t there and we were like standing there for 30 minutes so we could eat and finally we did. With that 30 minutes before seating, add 15 minutes till the food came. Funny thing is, bonding with mae and angel made me feel great and miss our high school days. At last, I had finally bonded with SOsquare again; after months of waiting. It has been a while and I’m so glad to be with them. I miss my friends – SOsquare. Guess the meaning of SOsquare?

Mae had a French leave. Her dad was drunk so they needed to leave easily. Angel lost my all the right move which is just fine anyway. All the while of our walking, our bodies were slammed and pained. Add to that, that there were maniac guys surrounding us taking advantage of the crowd. We went to cat lou’s pad again and waited for her; which after we waited and when she arrived, her parents decided for us to sleep there. It is like a slumber party in high school. We bonded and had a great time even though our bodies were screaming with pain because of the people that pushed their bodies unto us in the fest. Eventhough mae was at home, she made a way to connect with our chikahans through the phone.

It is a little bad for us to ditch our suppose to be acquaintances on the party but we are just damned tired. We had to lie – just a little white lie with just a single text, we don’t have the guts to answer their calls.

Things turned out the opposite. I had a sleepover in cat lou’s place not in myleen’s. Angel and I weren’t able to watch the fireworks – so sad but ok.

The next day came. We woke with cat lou’s alarm. We decided to extend some more minutes. We had a great breakfast talking about horror stories – “pamahiin” and “the maid”. And then we went back to chikahans and reading some magazines. Angel and I left before lunch. Hiya na kami para maglunch dun maski iniooffer kami. Kapamuks na kami eh. I gone home wearking a punkista outfit.hehe

I gone home and slept the whole afternoon. Ate lunch. Gone to the market. Cooked dinner. Chi-chatted with tina and jimboy. an update between tina and I - we are patching things up and we will go out this coming saturday. She is still my best friend. C'mon, we have known each other for 11 years.

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Christina as a korean

We had dinner. Guess what?.. after so many years, the four of us – mama, papa, kuya and I - in the family ate together at the same time – even though we had our own spaces. Nice huh?!.


... currently listening: to the radio - consistent unknown oldies love songs
...current mood: feeling hot (is that even a mood)...hehehe

Saturday, April 29, 2006

I -insert your name here- is Definitely Beautiful

Girls who efface their beauty by make-up, who pluck their eyebrows and substitute them with a stroke of a pencil, who mar their lips with lipstick, deserve some lecturing. Looking around, you see more masks than faces. Most of these girls cover up their insecurities with man-made creations or compare themselves to what society dictates as beautiful.

At present, many girls commit dangerous ways to “beautify” themselves. They either try plastic surgery to achieve high-bridged noses, liposuction to remove fats in their bodies, or they try the taboo ways by being anorexic or bulimic and the like. These are so dangerous, that they could even cause death.

What kind of woman will they turn out to be? Will they take life as an everlasting merry-go-round? What good can be expected of a woman who so lightly alters whatever Mother Nature has allotted to her? Is it possible that Nature, the source of miracles that our eyes can see, was mistaken in creating ninety-percent of creatures as females, so as to oblige them to remedy her work?

For years, media has bombarded us with typical images of beauty – models with long straight hair, stick thin figures, smooth white skin, and seemingly flawless features – which most people perceived as the standards of beauty. But these images of beauty are very narrow and stifling stereotype. Most girls don’t even fit this image, but are still considered beautiful. It is a cliché but a definite truth that: real beauty comes in various shapes, sizes, and ages. Here are proofs that such standards of beauty are just myths and that being short, curvy, curly-haired, and dark-skinned are also beautiful.

Being tall equals being beautiful. Height does not matter; you just got to have the right attitude. Like the famous saying; “small but terrible”; a perfect example is President GMA.

Being thin equals being beautiful. It is not about your weight – it is about how you carry yourself and how healthy you are. Love the body you have been given.

Having straight hair equals beautiful. Do you envy those girls in shampoo commercials with unbelievably straight, shiny, black hair? Do not. Those images are not real. According to studies, the truth is that 60% of the world’s population has varying degrees.

Having white skin equals being beautiful. Imagine if we lived in a world with only white-skinned people; what a pale and boring world that would be. Do not waste time scrubbing your dark skin ‘til it turns raw just to make it look fairer. Having more color on you makes you healthier.


I am not saying that being tall, thin, straight haired, and fair-skinned is not beautiful. It is. But these are not the only indicators of beauty. So do not fixate yourself to what society dictates as beautiful.

Real beauty is about loving and accepting yourself for who you are. It is about feeling good and satisfied. It is about not seeing your imperfections as flaws, but seeing them as distinctive features that are unique to you. It is about confident and being comfortable in your own skin. Hence, do not compare yourself to others and be satisfied with who you are.

In addition, it is not just about how you look, but how you live your life. You are beautiful when you are loved; when you do things you are passionate for, when you are kind to others, and when you exude confidence.

At the same time, real beauty is not always about concentrating what is on the outside but also in nurturing what is inside. Correspondingly, it is not only about accepting your physical characteristics but also oozing your character.
It is when you put little effort in making your face and body beautiful, but when you invest more on your heart and mind.

Being beautiful is also investing on your other assets – skills, talents and intelligence. It is better to have beauty with brains rather than just beauty. Not just the kind of girl you can talk to about everything but the girl you can talk to about everything that matters. As a matter of fact, beauty fades; so do not forget to invest on more important things.

You do not need to alter what Mother Nature gave to you, for real beauty has always been in you. So do not waste time criticizing yourself; rather, use your time to improve your relationships and fulfill your dreams.
Remember, there is something beautiful in everyone. You just need to start finding it and appreciate it. Celebrate your own personal beauty to remind the world of what real beauty is all about.

*** Definitely Beautiful is the real title of this article. This was an article i have done for my Comm 1 class which got me a grade of 33/40...hehe, not bad..hope you appreciate this essay I have done. Feel beauty and be beautiful. We all have it (beauty) in us..we just need to feel it and flaunt it.


Wednesday, April 26, 2006



***Here is something i got from the net that answers some queries about "The kiss"...as an early caution.."A kiss is not just a kiss...it is beyond the word...it implies a variety of meanings..meanings that may be impossibly true or beyond what one believes".. may these little uide contribute little nothings to the readers....
The Kiss

Sa mga GIRLS, I am expecting something
Sa mga BOYS, Don't get carried away…

All characters portrayed in this mail is purely fictional. No intention has been done if the characters resemble living people.

WE THE FLOWERS OF THE HEART, IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE
PERFECT KISS, ENABLE THE MIGHTY HUG AND TO PROMOTE
TO WHOM WE PLEASE, BUT PLEASE THE ONE WE KISS.

Article #1 - statement of love -> the kiss
1. ON THE HAND - I ADORE YOU
2. ON THE CHEEK - JUST FRIENDS
3. ON THE EAR - JUST JOKING
4. ON THE NECK - I WANT YOU
5. ON THE LIPS - I LOVE YOU
6. HANDS ON THE WAIST - I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU GO
7. LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES - KISS ME
8. ANYWHERE ELSE - DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY!!!

Article # 2 - The Three Steps
1. GIRL - IF A BOY GET'S TOO FRESH, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SLAP HIM
2. BOY - IF A GIRL SLAPS YOU KISS HER
3. BOY AND GIRL - CLOSE YOUR EYES, IT'S RUDE TO STARE

Article # 3 - The Three Commandments

1. THOU SHALT NOT SQUEEZE TOO HARD
2. THOU SHALT NOT ASK FOR A KISS, THOU SHALT TAKE ONE
3. THOU SHALT KISS ON EVERY OPPORTUNITY
Article #4 - A Must
AFTER REASING THIS, YOU MUST KISS THE PERSON/S WHO IS BESIDE YOU UNLESS THEY ARE ON THE SAME SEX.

REMEMBER…
A PEACH IS A PEACH,
A PLUM IS A PLUM,
A KISS AIN'T KISS,
WITHOUT A TOUNGE ….
SO OPEN YOUR MOUTH..
**** to the readers of this entry...this is not my creation..you have the prerogative to believe this or not....
... currently listening: to the radio - some oldies' song
... mood: unknown
... latest look at the time: 2:52 am

28 things i want in a boyfriend
1. kind (gentleman)
2. great sense of humor ( can make me laugh and able to laugh at himself)
3. the biggest supporter of my dreams
4. passionate about his work

5. sweet and malambing
6. is a little boy at heart – has a child’s innocence and innate trust in the world and mankind
7. highly-tolerant and open minded
8. is sweet to his mother and sister
9. well-read (smart and sensible)
10. loves to travel and see the world
11. remembers things I say, even ones I’ve already forgotten I’ve said (a good ListeNEr!)
12. someone who always look after the welfare of others (specially me!)
13. has a great deal of respect for women (GIRLS RULE!!!)
14. hopeless romantic
15. understands my mood swings
16. smells good!
17. loves my family and friends
18. fiercely loyal
19. someone who dresses well and knows what looks good on him (clean look)
20. doesn’t smoke (or other bad vices)
21. someone who openly considers me his best friend
22. someone who surprises me with nice little meaningful presents
23. outdoorsy and athletic
24. has wonderful. Expressive eyes
25. has cute little crinkles at the corner of his eyes when he smiles
26. courageously pursues his dreams
27. is proud to have me (accepting me for who I am I mean)
28. thinks I am the smartest, the funniest, and the most intoxicating woman in existence! hahaha

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

im working my ass off to transfer to diliman..and i really hope that i would be able to transfer.. uhh,.,, summer = no money; this summer was a lot of expenses for me, with all the lakads to diliman, the forms i needed to pay..the list goes on and on... im totally bummed... what an update uh.. be back when the time is right and when i have really good to say,... see yah dudes.. till the next writing...

Thursday, April 6, 2006

I was in a middle of a dream where I was wearing an bright and shouting orange shirt and being invited by man to join their marketing team to promote A-D-V-A-N while this was happening an Italian guy was having an eye contact with me. Until my dad woke me up this morning with a big shout. At first I did not respond but the second time I had to; because water is flowing on the 2nd floor of our small home. Thank God water did not totally flood our home or we will surely swim for our lives. I readily get a dustpan and a pail and gathered all the water I can. This is the 3rd time this has happened to us. The previous two was my fault and I was thinking that maybe this third time was mine too. I though it was but it was not; the fault was on my big bro. He woke up early and took a bath and I guess forgot to turn off the faucet. Anyway, at least that’s over, it took a while for our flooring to dry but it did.

Today, I was a lazy couch potato. All I did this was eat..eat..and watch tv. I feel that I’m totally gaining weight. Nagkakatiyan na ako..wahahaha.. Yes, I did cook and gone to the market with mama but I neither felt like I did not move nor sweat. I was like a kid again; buying meringue and muncher. It so great to reminisce my old memories.

In addition, I did not telephoned anyone today because everyone taught I have already left for manila. Honestly, I don’t feel like talking to anyone on the phone, I felt there weren’t someone worth while to talk to. I miss by best friend Kat B. She is one of the best conversationalists ever. Sometimes we’ll just stay quiet, not saying anyword, only feeling each other’s presence and we would know what both of us thinks. She is a true friend who truly understands me. It has been a year since I last saw her. And I hope I could see her soon.

Shows/movies I’ve watched today with the lessons:
  • 1st wives club – long live the sisterhood

  • Image hosting by Photobucket will and grace – replay

  • Friends – replay – chandler and monica applying to adopt a child

  • Image hosting by Photobucket Scrubs – don’t mingle with others business

  • Image hosting by Photobucket 8 simple rules – the nerdy guy who once had a crush may turn into a hot guy

  • My name is Kim San Soon - it is never too late to start…

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

for now..i'll make this my last blog account..i'm so tired of finding the right one where i could put my journal about all the happenings in my life..my cuz (angge) pushed me to be a part of this new-blog-craze? so we could keep in touch..as she says it is easier and more fun..i hope i could stick to this in a long period of time...
hay..finally..i got a new blog..

Monday, April 3, 2006

Tanya's 18th birthday

Start:     Apr 15, '06 7:00p
Location:     Manila Peninsula
the girl now becomes a lady...

Recille's 18th birthday

Start:     Apr 23, '06 11:00p
Location:     Malolos Club Royale
the first debut celebrated by B.A.B.E. 1A

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Manigong Bagong Taon!...

ang isang araw na panimula parati ng taon..ang araw ng ika nga eh panibagong buhay...

iba ang bagong taon ko ngayon..iba sa nakaraan...ibang-iba...iba nga ba o iniisip ko lang....

-namatay si tito rey...aaminin ko di ako umiyak pero nalungkot pa rin ako....

- sayang di kumpleto ang barkada...la si katb, diana, pola, gwen....

-pasko: sayang wala si papa....

-dec 27, 2005
kachika ko si pola at ivan bago ang debut
reunion ng batch namin...na kulang naman...

-dec 28, 2005
ang mahiwagang gabi sa beach kung saan ang constellation ay cancer...masaya rin..pero may kulang... sayang... at... nevermind

-dec 29, 2005
nawala ang bracelet ko

-dec 30,2005
wala pa rin bracelet ko

-dec 31, 2005
nahanap ko ang bracelet ko at may nagbigay pa sa akin

-Jan 1, 2005

eto na ang araw na pinakagusto halos ng lahat ang bagong taon....
ang daming bagay ang plano ko para sa susunod na taon..pero unti-unti muna..

oo nga pala nagkausap kami ni gerald shocking nga kasi ang alam ko di niya alam ang number namin sa bahay..pero natuwa pa rin ako..shocking lang kasi namiss niya raw ako at gusto niyang maayos ang away namin bout sa birthday issue....hehe

at yun pagkatapos ng new year nagusap kami ni tina at lester....bout sa mga bagay bagay...at hayun umalis na ako the next day ng di man lang nakapag-paalam

at eto january 2, 2006 na... pasukan na pero la naman palang klase..

sabi nila sa first 12 days ng taon mo malalaman ang kapalaran ng iyong taon...sana maging iba na ang taon na ito..at siguradong iibahin ko ang taon kong ito..good luck sa akin... hehehe