Wednesday, May 19, 2010

From Cj to Me: A note

I got this email five days ago but the message still resonates in my mind. I hate it that I can't write especially when 'mushy' things happen. But I appreciate that I made someone write something good about "US". I ____ you! :)

Subject: A note

Let me try my hand at this. For the past few weeks, we have been declaring ourselves to be a couple, unavailable to others and "committed" to each other. Things have not necessarily been easy, just like they won't be in the coming future. You have your responsibilities and I have mine. There is roughly 7 hours of travel time between us, barring easy dating and accessibility to each other.

Yet, we find ourselves, or at least I do, growing closer and closer to one another as time moves on. I like you and you like me, and even though we don't use the word "love" yet, it seems to be more of a formality than anything else. To be honest, I want the first time we pronounce that word, as pertaining to us, to be in person (so we need to meet soon!)

On to "US". This concept that you have been bringing up, to proclaim to the world, denoting something greater than the two of us alone. What is this "US" that we speak of? Just a simple pronoun, indicating that we are a part of a mutual party? Perhaps, but I think that even if this is how we use the word now, which I sort of doubt, it is evolving into something with much greater meaning and importance than just a simple pronoun. For you see, what I am seeking, and what we just might be moving towards, is something that on our own we cannot hope to achieve. A gradual moving of us, as in you and I separate yet together as a party, from being two people who is looking for a lifelong partner, to "US", you and I together as one ready to face what Life wishes to throw at us.

This latter "US", this concept or idea greater and more beautiful than you and I alone...are we there yet? Probably not, to tell the truth. This is something that will take a long time to accomplish, years of hard work and dedication that will lead to something that, once we stand before God in the End, its offering up to Him will bring Him great joy and glory as an end result of bringing us together.

But I jump ahead of myself. Just what are we at now? I believe we are on that track. It is early on, but every journey has a start, and I believe this might be ours. Remember Jesus's parable about the mustard seed? I believe that we can be compared to that. If you want a geeky explanation, it takes two gametes to make a seed, and two we are, only we're people. Upon joining, they form a cell, which grows and divides and forms the seed. Granted, I doubt we'll be doing any dividing, for that sounds unpleasant, but the concept is the same, as we grow together and form the "seed". From that will come a little sprout and from that comes the tree, one that birds roost in. Imagine, something so small as a mustard seed producing a full blown tree. Likewise, at the moment, we are like the little seed, full of potential, ready to sprout given the resources, if we haven't sprouted already. Yet, this will one day become something whose glory and beauty could only be designed by God himself, a "tree" that others will marvel at and perhaps drawn inspiration and strength from. A powerful concept indeed.

In the meantime, where are we and what do we do? Well, we pray and work. I put pray first, because it is through God that we met up, and as such He is to be included in our relationship. In fact, he is to come first between us, which oddly enough doesn't mean that we have to choose between one or the other, but rather show even greater devotion to each other. Even if we cannot pray together at the moment, we can do so on the side for the strength and guidance we need to continue. And as for working, we remain persistent in pushing forward, even when things look tough or impossible. By pushing forward when we can, and relying on God when we can't, I'm sure we can make it to the "US" discussed earlier.

And so, these are some of my thoughts on the matter. I'm not sure if I told you them or not, but either way writing them down makes them seem more concrete. I hope this doesn't scare or upset you, this going into these deep of concepts this early on.

Christopher J Fulkerson

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