Wednesday, April 2, 2008

so un-me

i want a boyfriend. promise. at this very moment i am craving for a boyfriend. someone i can call my partner. someone. someone i could have endless conversations. someone i am and can be happy with.
maybe being hurt with ivan have exhausted all the love in me. i need love. i am craving for it. i need love badly. but despite this need, i am not crazy and stupid to get into a relationship right now. all i know is i want to experience being in love. damn! why do i feel so empty!

***

who would ever thought that i would be able to mingle with koreans. hay. so surreal.
i feel so not myself.. trying to please them and all. i'm feeling so insecure right now. and i feel so superficial. i seem not myself. maybe because i don't feel good about myself at this very moment. with my blemished face because of last semesters stresses. oh! also, i know that i do not fit their standard of beauty. omg! this sucks. i like one of the koreans. he is gentleman and all. i don't know.
i feel so insecure. hate this. hate this feeling.


***

i'm going to redeem myself. i would lose the extra pounds i gain during the past 3 weeks. go back to the derma. and go back to my dentist.

Oh GOd, please fill me.. help me.. i need to feel good about myself. i'm irritated to myself.

***

see you in subic!
we are going there tomorrow.!
:-)

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